It’s dumb that I’ve come to this place to do real writing (like made up fiction about interesting characters who, through their made up actions, reveal truths about ourselves) and instead I’ve taken to reporting in real time the goings on of a gay date taking place at the table in front of me. I know the one in the green sweater is gay because he turns his finger into a teepee on the table when he talks, and then it’s confirmed when he starts speaking.
“So my father got laid off today.” He goes on to explain. “He’s in the auto industry.” It’s so topical I can hardly stand it. They talked to Detroiters in coffee shops about the crisis on NPR today, I felt happy to be alive to hear it. I want the boys on their date to start talking about the Proposition 8 catastrophe next. They share a dessert and continue the rest of the evening (prudently) in hushed tones.
A boy wearing a t-shirt, a ridiculous, mock basketball jersey, and a scarf tied just so around his neck has caught me staring at him, and he half waves, and now I realize that I know him from somewhere else. It’s Chad from another bar. Good lord. Is everybody gay?* I pause to tie my own scarf around my neck in the exact same fashion, as a way to say I’m sorry.
I find I can’t bring myself to do it. I take 4 action photos of myself attempting to tie the scarf around my neck in the hipster way my sister showed me to prove that I tried. My mind is sent into a dizzy of reveries regarding just what kind of person becomes paralyzed with fear/inaction at the simple act of tying a scarf around one’s neck with the faintest modicum of style.
*I ran into Chad later on this week where we discussed life briefly. Far be it from me to spread false and potentially devastating rumors about acquaintances sexuality on the Internet. Others swear up and down that Chad is straight, and uses his homosexual swagger extremely effectively to get chicks. The world is changing all around us.
Interview with Author Erik Marshall
1 month ago