Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Tell 3 Friends? Do I look like I'm made of friends?

I've been told to share this link with three friends in a blanket effort to spread love and healing across the world. Whether the individual who sent this to me (who, as far as I know, does not read this blog) believes a mock newspaper will directly effect the future is at this time unknown.

The New York Times: June 4th, 2009

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Why Obama's Presidency is a Big Deal

Why did we throw our hands in the air and go crazy on Tuesday night? Why did the entire world gather in community halls, pubs, and around their village’s one television set to celebrate the election of Barack Obama? Because Obama’s presidency is the greatest thing to happen to the country/world since fucking ever and I’ll tell you why.

I don’t know if we* realized just how sick and defeated we’ve all felt for the last eight years under W’s presidency. We suffered a stolen election, a war we didn’t believe in, and a closed off, entirely undemocratic government we couldn’t trust. Bush profited from a culture of rampant anti-intellectualism wherein curiosity, a healthy criticism of our leaders, and thoughtful, deliberate speech were demonized as un-American, elitist, un-patriotic and “cosmopolitan.”** We lived under this system for so long that many of us gave up on the idea that a better world was possible - until Tuesday night, when all of a sudden the sun came out and flowers picked themselves.

It’s not that Obama answers all of our liberal-commie-socialist prayers, because he absolutely does not. He’s a capitalist in a capitalist system. He’s not going to save the economy, end world hunger and put a hypoallergenic, animal-shelter puppy in all of our non-mortgaged living rooms. We weren’t celebrating because we believed somehow magically that America’s problems were over.

We were celebrating, and continue to celebrate because we finally found a candidate we can get excited about and trust. We believe that he is who he says he is, that he loves his wife and his family, that he loves his country, and that he plans on including all of us in the democratic process. We believe that the administration will be led under his tutelage in our name, and not by a committee of puppet masters.***

He represents the first step in an ideological shift in the nation’s consciousness. The antiquated model of Capitalism is crumbling in front of our eyes, and we need a 21st century model to tackle what lies ahead. McCain/Palin supporters represent a large subset of American culture, but theirs is an old-fashioned way of thinking. For an evangelical Christian the world is black versus white, good versus evil, man + woman versus perverted depravity. That may describe their reality, but it doesn't describe ours, and we are the mother fucking future. Love and tolerance is the new black.

When we elected Barack Obama as our president, we showed the world that we’ve finally learned from the mistakes of our past. We weren’t misled by the other sides attempt to control us with fear and hatred. We rejected the political party whose power came by propagating a belief that loving God means hating those that don’t.

So yes, it is a big deal. It’s a moment in history that we can celebrate without irony, where grown men can cry watching Oprah, and we can dance in the street instead of rioting. We can start tempering our excitement with cynicism next year. For now, we have every reason to be completely ecstatic and hopeful about the future.

Let’s not fuck it up.



*I use the proverbial “we,” as in “yes we can” and the modified “yes we did!”
**A prime-time television way of saying “faggy”
***And we’re ready and waiting to riot in the street if these beliefs proof to be foolishly naïve.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Sex, Cinema, Politique!

Let's take a little break from the gorefest in lieu of a whole 'nother kind of horror, eh? American politics. These are what I consider the best sites for all your election/depression needs.

1. (Written In the style of a Reading Rainbow segment.) Have you ever wondered What Makes People Vote Republican? I sure have! Now you can find out by reading this informative and stimulating article by Jonathon Haidt, a psychologist specializing in the study of morality and emotions. (/end Reading Rainbow shtick.) In all seriousness, the article is pretty enlightening and I recommend it. Oh and yeah, I am just assuming that everyone reading is not a republican. If I'm wrong, wow! Are we friends? Do you know me? One Republican Friend, is that you?

2. realclearpolitics.com This site takes all the different national polls and averages them together. The Dark Knight returns!

3. The Giant Pool of Money. Here you can stream an episode of This American Life that explains the housing crisis to idiot poets like me who only know how to spend money and maybe watch movies featuring people spending money. Radio podcasts are a really great format for learning things because you don't have to read words.

4. The Huffington Post is just liberal propaganda but you know, that's how I roll.

5. 236.com The title is a play on 24/7 news coverage, but somebody had to explain that joke to me cuz... I just don't often get jokes. They've animated Get Your War On, which is perfect. I already said I don't have time to read word bubbles.

I'm John McCain and I approve this message.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Dude.

Look, I'm busy and sort of frightened. I made you a list and now I'm going to bed.

1. Oh my god Dude, wtf. I told you I needed to borrow 700 billion dollars. Why are you being such a dick about it? I know I was saying before I could handle this kind of shit on my own but come on, forget about what I said! God. I warned you, bitches. Something really baaad is going to happen. I don't know why you hate America.
- The Invisible Hand.

2. Working in an office is changing me. I think I'd like to start a re-occurring segment on this blog. I don't have all day to think of a great title for it now, but maybe something like People at my office who I don't know well/at all but I'm pretty sure suck and here's why. Why does this bitch named Alisa who I've never seen or talked to have to be such a bitch? She keeps sending out these mass emails complaining about people leaving food in the two refrigerators. An excerpt, paraphrased: The refrigerators are not for you to keep food in for the ENTIRE WEEK. They are there for you to keep your lunches cold for one day. From now on, everyone will have to write the date on anything in the refrigerators. If after ONE DAY the food is still there, I'm throwing it away. Who is this woman and why is she so insane? So far I have not seen one dated item, and for this civil disobedience I am glad, but last week, friends, on day 3 of its perilous life of accompanying my morning oatmeal, the bitch threw away my rice milk. Was the fridge jam packed? After three long days of taking up 12 inches of cubic space, was the rice milk curdling, fermenting, growing legs and crawling into her cubicle? Alisa, you're a fucking bitch.

3. Look at him. Just look at him! That's my golden boy. He's like a shining, black, secret muslim night light for when I'm scared of the dark.


4. -.777 ! What does it mean? I've listened to the Diane Rheme show every day for the last two weeks and I still don't understand.

5. The Faint's new album is really good.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The couple that hates middle America together stays together

I've been spending about.... 9+ hours a day absorbing news/politics, (NPR streaming in my ears at work = worst idea ever) so it may be that I have intelligent things to say about current affairs. BUT, since I've been using the internet for over 10 years and I just found out about screenshots, I'll just post bits of conversation Erik and I had while watching the Republican National Convention instead.





I meant to say calumnity, not fecundity. Although, given Palin's daughter, fecundity is also acceptable.
(dictionary.com)

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

my boring day, re-posted, take two.

The problem with having a blog and not being a journalist, political mind of our time, or movie star is that nothing ever happens to me, so I don't have any adventures to report. Oh my god it's not a problem it's an opportunity.

I am a person who desperately wants things to happen to them. Things like a job. I went on an interview at yet another chiropractic office in Rochester Hills. What is it with me and only getting interviews at chiropractic offices? I'd say offhand I've been to about 8 different offices in the metropolitan area, my third in Rochester. The people of that town need to get their spines mother fucking aligned already and get on with life.

The guy that interviewed me was both a chiropractor and a motivational speaker(?) He asked me what business I had applying as a receptionist with a degree. He said he likes to help his receptionists reach their dreams. To reach their dreams of being his receptionist. The two girls he already had in his office belonged in a toothpaste commercial. Gorgeous smiling 21 year olds in scrubs. The office was one big room, darkly lit, the only light coming through the venetian blinds with operating tables like in frankensteins lab. There were two chairs set up in the middle of the room facing each other. I mean, it looked like a John Carpenter film. He should have turned on a smoke machine. He said he likes to do interviews "unconventionally," as in he comes into the room talking all weird to see how I handle it. I'm guessing not well, because I acted how I felt: confused. Then he went on and on in a way that didn't seem much like an interview to me at all. Generally an interview involves two people talking. I used all the NLP techniques in my arsenal. I mirrored my posture to his, tilted my head in the opposite direction from him, looked him in the eye and said "yeah" "mmhmm" in the same tone. He said the first interview is designed for him to get to know me. He will call back four or five girls for a second interview. "How I choose these girls, I have no idea. And I have no idea who I will choose." RIGHT. You have NO idea. You bring them in for 5 minutes, talk at them, and then choose based on some mystical, intangible impression of their secretarial credentials. On the way out he commented that I was tall. If he likes tall women I just may make it to the next round. I'll be holding my breathe until then.

I went to the fourth district and voted with my mother to save the zoo, even though fuck the zoo. I had a job interview with them, and as you can see by my not so quiet desperation, they didn't hire me either. I was a very uninformed voter. I voted a straight democratic ticket. When there were choices to be made, I voted for the girls. I voted for a democratic girl sheriff named Jane. If Jamal Jackson were on the ballot, I'd have voted for him instead. A Black sheriff!?