Look, I'm busy and sort of frightened. I made you a list and now I'm going to bed.
1. Oh my god Dude, wtf. I told you I needed to borrow 700 billion dollars. Why are you being such a dick about it? I know I was saying before I could handle this kind of shit on my own but come on, forget about what I said! God. I warned you, bitches. Something really baaad is going to happen. I don't know why you hate America.
- The Invisible Hand.
2. Working in an office is changing me. I think I'd like to start a re-occurring segment on this blog. I don't have all day to think of a great title for it now, but maybe something like People at my office who I don't know well/at all but I'm pretty sure suck and here's why. Why does this bitch named Alisa who I've never seen or talked to have to be such a bitch? She keeps sending out these mass emails complaining about people leaving food in the two refrigerators. An excerpt, paraphrased: The refrigerators are not for you to keep food in for the ENTIRE WEEK. They are there for you to keep your lunches cold for one day. From now on, everyone will have to write the date on anything in the refrigerators. If after ONE DAY the food is still there, I'm throwing it away. Who is this woman and why is she so insane? So far I have not seen one dated item, and for this civil disobedience I am glad, but last week, friends, on day 3 of its perilous life of accompanying my morning oatmeal, the bitch threw away my rice milk. Was the fridge jam packed? After three long days of taking up 12 inches of cubic space, was the rice milk curdling, fermenting, growing legs and crawling into her cubicle? Alisa, you're a fucking bitch.
3. Look at him. Just look at him! That's my golden boy. He's like a shining, black, secret muslim night light for when I'm scared of the dark.
4. -.777 ! What does it mean? I've listened to the Diane Rheme show every day for the last two weeks and I still don't understand.
5. The Faint's new album is really good.
Interview with Author Erik Marshall
4 months ago