Monday, September 29, 2008


Look, I'm busy and sort of frightened. I made you a list and now I'm going to bed.

1. Oh my god Dude, wtf. I told you I needed to borrow 700 billion dollars. Why are you being such a dick about it? I know I was saying before I could handle this kind of shit on my own but come on, forget about what I said! God. I warned you, bitches. Something really baaad is going to happen. I don't know why you hate America.
- The Invisible Hand.

2. Working in an office is changing me. I think I'd like to start a re-occurring segment on this blog. I don't have all day to think of a great title for it now, but maybe something like People at my office who I don't know well/at all but I'm pretty sure suck and here's why. Why does this bitch named Alisa who I've never seen or talked to have to be such a bitch? She keeps sending out these mass emails complaining about people leaving food in the two refrigerators. An excerpt, paraphrased: The refrigerators are not for you to keep food in for the ENTIRE WEEK. They are there for you to keep your lunches cold for one day. From now on, everyone will have to write the date on anything in the refrigerators. If after ONE DAY the food is still there, I'm throwing it away. Who is this woman and why is she so insane? So far I have not seen one dated item, and for this civil disobedience I am glad, but last week, friends, on day 3 of its perilous life of accompanying my morning oatmeal, the bitch threw away my rice milk. Was the fridge jam packed? After three long days of taking up 12 inches of cubic space, was the rice milk curdling, fermenting, growing legs and crawling into her cubicle? Alisa, you're a fucking bitch.

3. Look at him. Just look at him! That's my golden boy. He's like a shining, black, secret muslim night light for when I'm scared of the dark.

4. -.777 ! What does it mean? I've listened to the Diane Rheme show every day for the last two weeks and I still don't understand.

5. The Faint's new album is really good.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

On Not Writing.

I know I know I know I know I know I know. Someday we'll meet unexpectedly on a dusty road, and it will be as though we never parted.

Not today friends. Not today.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

"You have serious problems."

Lest you think all I do is watch movies, talk about movies, watch tv, talk about tv, watch youtube videos featuring people on movies and tv and then talk about it, I'll have you know, friends, that I also read books. I just finished a novel called Zeroville. It's about a bald dude who's obsessed with the movies! So let's just put this rumor to rest. I just don't understand people who don't read.

Roger Ebert is not a hack. He's a wonderful writer, and especially in the days of Gene Siskel, Siskel & Ebert at the Movies was an intelligent and interesting show, and more important to me in my formative years than any bullshit sunday morning cartoons. It took films seriously. Check out Siskel in this review of The Last Temptation of Christ if you don't believe me. He looks like he's going to start crying if we don't see this movie. WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE!?

The last 8 years with Roeper were bad enough, but I just had the misfortune of catching the first episode of the latest incarnation of the show. It has now become simply "At the Movies." It stars two young, handsome, movie illiterate douche bags on a set with sweeping graphics, complete with sound effects. I know that the world seems to think that young minds can't focus on anything for more than 7 seconds without seeing a swooping graphic + sound effect, but Christ. I'm only 26 and I feel like telling these "film critics" to turn down that damn music and get off my lawn.

Film critics are not supposed to be handsome. It's fucking bullshit. Sitting around and watching movies isn't a lifestyle. It's a skill that we cultivate to compensate for being misunderstood and not getting laid. This isn't an opinion, it's an iron clad law of physics, like gravity. Jim Morrison is handsome, and he SUCKS. Thom Yorke? Ugly as fuck and he rocks. Dan Brown, the handsome author of The Davinci Code? sucks. Bukowski's face made people vomit in the streets. It's about what's in our head and our hearts.

I can't talk about this anymore. I'm starting to take it really seriously.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Bob Saget Raped and Killed a Girl in 1990.

The video explains my emotional state this evening, the fourth in a row in which I will average less than 4 hours of sleep for no good reason. All play and no sleep makes Molly a gloomy Guss.

The title of the post is just cuz I want to attract to my blog the kind of people that would do a google search for said phrase.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The couple that hates middle America together stays together

I've been spending about.... 9+ hours a day absorbing news/politics, (NPR streaming in my ears at work = worst idea ever) so it may be that I have intelligent things to say about current affairs. BUT, since I've been using the internet for over 10 years and I just found out about screenshots, I'll just post bits of conversation Erik and I had while watching the Republican National Convention instead.

I meant to say calumnity, not fecundity. Although, given Palin's daughter, fecundity is also acceptable.