So I've been sitting around for days, patiently waiting for an adventure to take me on a magical carpet ride through time and space, and nothing. Not even an ordinary earth bound adventure has come around. I had another job interview, it was depressing, it sucked. I ate in a fancy restaurant, it was delicious, I got full. I pulled the death card in tarot (signifying change and new beginnings) twice in one week and no such change took place. Today I pulled the heirophant card i.e. the pope, which stands for timidity, stagnation, and boooooring. I will embrace this card and discuss no new topics. How about events that happened not even in this millennium.
Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead is a really good movie. Christina Applegate wears awesome nineties "executive" clothes, she looks totally hot smoking cigarettes, and the babysitter dies in the first act in a Slayer induced heart attack (lest you believe the title is just a metaphor. It's not.) The idea that a plucky 17 year old smoker can save a uniform manufacturing company with a fashion show in a backyard is just, well, fucking inspiring. . . .
I'm fucking joking okay, it's not a good movie, but it has its moments, and those moments put a vice grip on my heart, and my subconscious wanted to keep the movie there forever, so blockbuster's copy got lost, and for an entire summer they kept calling and calling, leaving embarrassing messages on our machine. "You must really like this movie..." etc. This in turn inspired a whole crop of hilarious side jokes, beginning with "Don't Tell Mom we're not paying these late fees" and then escalating to, "Don't Tell Mom her account has gone into collection."
Jesus God please, I need a job.
Interview with Author Erik Marshall
7 years ago
3 comments:
here's a weird thing: my dad just told me Applegate is dead. Seriously, like an hour ago. I haven't been able to confirm it, and it's probably not true. She does have breast cancer though. Synchronicity?
I'm doing the laugh/cry thing I hate so much when Drew Barrymore does it in every fucking movie.
sorry to hear about the bad interviews. personally, i think that all you should be doing is writing. seriously, you should find a way to get a government grant and write a book. i would read it. you could write about making toast and i would read it. you have a way with words, lady.
Post a Comment